Friday, April 22, 2011 @ 10:38 PM
Too tired; too overwhelmed.
It's like, I'm so drained, to the max. That I don't even have the energy to cry anymore.This is one heck of a exhausting journey.
I'm really very very tired. How many nights have I just came back and immediately went to sleep. How many days that I totally not done any homework. And thanks to all this slacking and severe unproductiveness, I'm lagging like there's no end. And I'm not typing this in the complaining and whiny tone, its more like a serious and pessimistic one. I'm overwhelmed now, finally I actually realize, how much I suck. How stupid I am. How passive I had been. How complacent I had been.
And I was nowhere near this screwed last year.
I don't know if it's like my entire stretch and stamina dropped or what, but sometimes I'm really very easily drained and then I cannot freaking complete anything. I feel horrible. If this is what life is gonna be the next years, ...I actually can't think of anything to say. I don't even want to think about it.
I can't even have the energy to cry; how I wasted the entire of today again.
And I'm really too tired. Too tired to keep on fighting. Too tired to prevent being overwhelmed. Too tired trying so hard to stay afloat. Too tired to even care anymore.
Let the worn-out me sulk and bawl and howl and cry in one dark corner, where no one cares and even knows.
Sunday, April 10, 2011 @ 5:54 PM
我不是你想像那麽勇敢
每个人都有梦 幸福总站在最远方心中越是渴望 越是不敢伸手拥抱
我强问我自己 现在还没有个答案
我不是你想像那麽勇敢
多想让你保护能流泪一场
让我放下武装 像个孩子一样
单纯的把爱情放在你心上
我不是你想像总是扮演坚强
多想让你知道我也要个伴
放下讨厌武装 像个孩子一样
单纯的把爱情放在你心上
我不是你想像的那麽勇敢
because even the best fall down sometimes, and the stongest will seem weak sometimes. is life really all about pretence, pretending that everyone's fine and happy every single day. look around, everyone does look happy with their life and daily happenings, but do they? do they actually feel like that inside? does anyone feel the insecurity, the fear, the uncertainty that you yourselves feel? i really wonder. nothing's transparent as it seems. no one's heart can be comprehended just as easily like this. and dreams, i find that, the more you want it, the more you actually DREAM about it, the more the fear you actually have inside you to actually go fufill the dreams of your utmost yearning. my deepest dreams are ones that are ultimately unfufilled. and passion versus ability. what if you had so much passion for it, but you just can't perform in that area? what if you are outstanding in this certain area of your specialisation, but you can't find the spark of passion inside you towards it. so will it be passion or ability? so far, i've been going the way of passion. but as the day passes, i feel uncertain. did i make the right choice? & i really don't want to end up regretting not taking path that i chose not to. life is just so...unpredictable.
大家看起来都那么快乐，但有几个却是真正的从心底感到幸福，快乐呢？还有几个是像大家一样带着令人反感，讨厌，觉得很累的面具？我们看起来个个都很坚强，但事实是，我们不是大家想象的那么勇敢。
Saturday, April 2, 2011 @ 7:28 PM
who i am.
'cause i just realised, there was no need to get myself all worked up over what you've said. I'm perfectly fine with who i am now and i dont need to change myself just because you said so. because this is who i am. and i'm lovin' it. 
