Tuesday, July 5, 2011 @ 11:53 PM
dream while the others are wishing.
stressed. but not so much, now that blocks are over. GP totally screwed. Bio medium screwed. Econs, no idea. Math, well, i happened to get it back today so well...i got an A. a low one though :/ but at least its an A right? i was happy for a moment but heck, if everyone did so well, what's the point.
a place where good isn't good enough. but i should still be happy.
I realised, i'm so passionate about the emo side of humans. like how quotes can just hit on me like a rock.
"only the dreams that no one believes in are worth trying"
sometimes i feel really lonely. it seems as if my close friends don't really treat me the way i treat them. i treat them as if they were my close friends, but i keep feeling that when something happens, they'll not turn to me in any case. and i feel rejected. sad. i'm trying hard. and no one sees the insecurity i have. coming to the case of friends, i think i've been so fortunate to have such wonderful friends so far in every year of my life. i mean, i think, i never, ever experienced something called backstabbing. dont look at me with utter horror. to a small extent, minor ones, of course. but when i hear of all those gossiping and backstabbing and everything, i wonder, why people would do that to their friends? why can't people just get along? and i wonder, if it is right to at least experience it? i feel like i'm still immature and innocent. treating everyone through my very unjudging eyes and heart. i trust my friends. and sometimes i wonder if i'm being too unguarded. but wouldn't be too painful to keep barriers against everyone everytime? but then this is exactly the reason why i seem nice to people, why people would treat me as insignigicant. 难道非得在别人的背后捅一刀才是对的吗？难道要变得更加坚强，更加虚假，才能得到更多地认同吗？
i feel like an immature kid that still looks at the world purely.
